I see you ENVY

Staring me down

with ur green hateful eyes

Jealous of my past success

my potential greatness

I hear ur sabotaging whispers

ur slanderous accusations

I see you ENVY

ur lingering insecurities

Ur low self-esteem

As you simmer over

Knowing that I am capable

And willing

All of what you can’t

Or will not do

I see you, dawg, I see you all too well

I see you BETRAYAL

Smiling in my face

Saying all the good things

Yet blowing me off gently

Calling me “friend”

Yet playing my “foe”

I see you BETRAYAL

Extending a helping hand

Yet holding it

Just out of reach

Of any true assistance

Saying one thing

Yet doing nothing

I see you, BETRAYAL. I see you all too well.

I see you DOUBT

Telling me

“U Cant”

“It’s Impossible”

“Stop trying”

“It wasn’t meant to be”

“Just give up”

“Ur not good enough”

“They’re better than u”

“U need more experience”

“more education”

“more polish”

“more skills”

“more tools”

“more money”

I see you DOUBT

Looking down on me

With ur discouraging eyes

I hear ur lackluster

Attempts to hold me down

I see you DOUBT, I see you all too well

Yet u don’t see me

Not the real me

U don’t see the wars

I’ve already fought

The strength they’ve created

Within me

While I’ll stand before u

ENVY

BETRAYAL

DOUBT

STRENGTH, FAITH and OPTIMISIM

stand behind me

They’ve got my back

Always have

Through any battle

Any war

No matter the foe

STRENGTH deflects your

Hateful

Back-stabbing

Discouraging words

STRENGTH

Turns the pain

U inflict

& turns it into

Energy and

Determination

FAITH keeps me

Believing

Focused

And Postive

FAITH picks me up

Every single time

u’ve knocked me down

And gets me ready

4 ur next shot!

OPTIMISIM reminds me

What I’ve done

What I’m capable of

Shines the Light

At the End

On all dark tunnels

OPTIMISIM encourages me

To keep going

No matter

What obstacles

U put in my way

So U see

U’ve taken on a war

U lost long ago

U should take time

To study ur opponent

Cause if u did

U would’ve seen

There’s no defeating me

I am STRONG

I am FAITHFUL

I am OPTIMISTIC

U r no match for me

You will see

You will lose

 I will win

I always do

Good evening sir!
I appreciate you for agreeing to me here tonight
because there is something that I have REALLY need
to get off my chest.
This has been eating away at me for years
And I just thinking it about time
I just come out with it
As much as it pains for me to says this
I truly believe
From the bottom of my heart that
YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A NO-GOOD NIGGER
Whheewww… I’ve been meaning to get that out for years.
Felt damn good too
I’ve sat here for the over 30 years Holding back puke in my mouth
And disgust in my heart as you ruined our life at every turn
With your 3XL white t-shirts
Your baggy jeans
And your white Air Force 1s.
Fighting the urge to spray paint on walls like you use to
You sit around complaining how I’ve kept you down at these years
and how things need to change as you sit in the same spot
in the same neighborhood and do absolutely nothing!!
It is you that have kept Yourself and your “people” down
You’re a embarrassment
A waste of place
Look at the way you write
Not even worthy of the air you breathe
I look at you every day just wishing you’d die
Or at the very least leave and never come back
Your daddy was sure good at that.
As much as you try, I’m here to tell you
That you’ll never fit in my world
Read all the books you want
Wear the best suit and tie your money can buy
Go to our churches
Volunteer with us on weekends
No matter how hard you work
How well you talk
And as many as of my friends you have
YOU’LL BE ANYTHING BUT A NO-GOOD IGNORANT ASS NIGGER

Hmph
Is that wassup dawg?!
That’s how you really feel about a brotha?!
Man you don’t know how long
I’ve been waitin to hear U say that
Cause real talk…
YOU AIN’T SHIT BUT A BITCH ASS CRACKER!
You be actin all scared and shit when it times to get our hustle on
Kissing motherfuckers ass when real mofos come around
Always be on that straight and narrow shit
What cause a nigga don’t wanna do it your way
He aint no good or something
You’s a straight bitch
Moving to the burbs
Giving me that bullshit that u did for our little girls
Just admit you moved us from the hood
Cause you cracker ass is scared
Yeah dawg, I see you…
All our life I’ve see you
walking on the other side of the street
taking the long way home
You aint foolin nobody!!
With your big ass words and over-blown philosophies
“M.C. ALWAYSGOTASMARTANSWERFORSHIT”
You don’t even tell nobody
That we from the hood muthafucka
DAWG…we from The Jungle nigga
Yeah you remember those Jonquil Hotel days
You was running to ur white-ass mama like some bitch
Then you’d come outside to the park
Niggas was gonna let you in
Aint no real niggas gonna let some
Tricking ass white boy in our set
You come around like you down
Trying to say your piece in real brotha convos
Like you know about hip hop
Like you know about the struggle
Like you know about what went down
YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT STRUGGLE
Cause dem bitch ass honkies was letting you pass
Go back over there to dem white folks where u belong
And leave me over here my real muthafuckin niggas
Before we work u over like we use to

Hey fellas..
You mind if I interject for a sec
I’ve been here observing the both of you
For the past 30 something years and quite frankly
BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
You two have been going back and forth
All MY life…yes MY life…not ours
You’ve had me flip flop from one side to another
When truth is neither one of you
Have once thought of just accepting me
Contrary to your fucked up one–sided belief
I am not some ignorant ass no-good nigga
I sure as hell ain’t no bitch ass cracker
You two fucks have been in my head
for the past 32 years driving me nuts
to the point where I don’t know how to love
my own damn children because
I’m too busy hating myself
Niether of you have embraced me
Because all you can see
Is the hate you have for each other
So right here right now
It’s time for you both
To take your misconceptions
Your ignorance
And your hatred
AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!
Somedays Im wanna listen to DEAD PREZ
Another days Im wanna blast some Kid Rock
One day I want grilled salmon on a rice medley
Then crave for a 5 piece with mild sauce
I look damn good in my suit
But feel so much better in my baggy jeans and white t-shirt
I moved the suburbs cause I’m tired of niggas
sitting around talking shit and doing nothing
as their communities and families crumble around them
I have not forgot about them for a second
But also can’t forget that I have responsibility
To keep my family safe
My father may not have been around
But he taught everything I need to know
By not being there at all
I will never forget where I’m from
And what I’ve gone through
For the Jungle made me the King today
And while you over celebrating in the streets
With your “MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK” T-shirts
You need to open your eyes and realize..
MY PRESIDENT IS MIXED…BITCH!
I am the boy you put in the back room
during Christmas at my aunt’s house
And the boy you laughed at
When you first saw him danced
You’ve called me NIGGER
You’ve called me CRACKER
All I can do is be the best me I can be
But I don’t need either one of you fucks
There when I do it
I am the best of you
I am the worst of you
But finally I know now
I am neither of you
Not anymore!

Here I am
My fingers in position
Waiting
Waiting for the surge of inspiration
A surge of greatness
To come over me
To Write
To write something witty

Something unique
Something full of wisdom
Something that will
capture the imagination
Of some young soul
Who will roll with it
And take it
Take it and mold it
into something
That is theirs
And theirs alone

So they can spark
another young soul
To do the same
To create a circle of working minds
And inspired spirits
So we can rise to new heights
But yet
I have nothing
Nada
Zip
Not a damn thing.
I have
No comment

As my fingers sit
paralyzed in fear
My mind stuck
in a state of emptiness
A black hole
I stare @ the screen
Nope
Still nothing
I am void of inspiration
Emotionless
Indifferent
With the feeling
I am growing
Dumber by the minute
Wasting Time
Loosing Brain Cells
And getting Fatter
And fatter
Damn near forgetting
Who and where
I am
Yet becoming depressed
at the same freaking time.
I have
No comment

Still nothing
Wait
No
Sorry
Still nothing
I try to free myself
From the computer
But it keeps
sucking me in
To its nothingness
Its vagueness
Its ignorance
I am reading
A lame ass blog
And
I have
No comment

My bad

I must not have gotten that memo

Excuse me

If I’m not up on things

And the way they are today

I must not have gotten the memo

Informing brothers and sisters

it was time to act a GOTdamn fool

That it was time to stop

Acting like brothas and sisters

And start acting like

The niggas and bitches

They’ve convinced us we are

And totally forget the lessons

Of our parents and ancestors

That it was time to take the intelligence

Out of the game

And concentrate on improving

Our level of ignorance

That our brothers are destined

To be thugs, gangstas and pushers

And our sisters are destined

To be golddiggers and whores

My bad

I must not have gotten the memo

That the dress code had changed

From brothers and sisters

Dressing for success

To wearing their net worth

On their necks

And giving more of a shit

About WHO they’re wearing

That WHAT they’re wearing

That it was ok for our sisters

To look like uncoordinated strippers

In magazines and videos

And portray them as desperate whores on TV

That it was ok for our brothers

To act as hard as they can

For no apparent reason

But to look harder

Than the next motherfucker

While wearing their pants

Below their ass

And their fake ass furs in

the heat of summer.

My bad

I must not have gotten the memo

That explains for our kids

To act more grown that we are

While saying shit

and doing shit

That would have gotten

Our mouths busted for

back in the day

That it was the in-thing

To let the internet and TV

Raise our kids

And teach the family values

Instead of us parents

Taking responsibility for

Our own damn kids

Because we all know

That HIP HOP and video games

Are to blame for our kids

Acting like punks!

My bad

I must have not gotten the memo

Telling brothers to abandon

Their families

And for mothers to front

Like their children

Don’t need their fathers

And then wonder

Why their sons

Have no clue

how to be a man

And  why their daughters

Go to their boyfriends

To first learn

the love of  a man

My bad

I must not have gotten the memo

That informs me that

it is no longer cool to be happy

no longer cool to dance

no longer cool to be informed

no longer cool to be in love

no longer cool to be urself

no longer cool to be educated

no longer cool to be faithful

no longer cool to be strong

no longer cool to write songs

about true love and joy

That it’s the “in” thing

To bitch about everything

That isn’t going your way

Instead of being thankful

For what we have

That it is time for us

To do whatever we can

To be anything but

Who we really are.

My bad

I must not have gotten that memo

Yet I’m starting to think

That’s maybe it’s good I didn’t